You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
