Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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