Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
