We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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