I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize