Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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