is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
