Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
