is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
