My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
