Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
