remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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