That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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