she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
