all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
