I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
