1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
