I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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