who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
