I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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