nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
