You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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