I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
