thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
