That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
