my mouth tastes like poor choices
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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