Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
