The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
