What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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