Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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