Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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