We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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