I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
