she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
