its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
