too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
