is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
