yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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