I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
