The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
