I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
