shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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