I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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