PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
