talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Still dying that you shit outside
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
