I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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