I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We need a shit load of segways right now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
