Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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