Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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