Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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